The Secrets We Keep Read online

  The Secrets We Keep

  Ella Jade

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  The Secrets We Keep © 2020 Ella Jade

  All rights reserved under the International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Warning: the unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of $250,000.

  The Secrets We Keep

  I didn’t plan to lie but now it’s my only option.

  Kara

  My husband left me.

  Our life was perfect or so I thought.

  We adopted a gorgeous little girl.

  Our very own miracle.

  After my divorce, I meet an intriguing stranger.

  Rich, powerful, sexy, and determined.

  He’s wonderful to my daughter.

  He treats her like she’s his own.

  I find myself in a fairytale.

  Every story has something dark lurking at the surface.

  Xavier has a secret.

  Xavier

  My late ex-girlfriend kept a secret from me.

  She had our child but gave her up for adoption.

  Four years later, I’ve uncovered the truth.

  The woman raising my daughter is beautiful, loving, and intelligent.

  Any man would be lucky to have her.

  And then there is my child.

  The love I didn’t know existed.

  I don’t know how to disrupt their world and tell them who I am.

  I insert myself into their lives instead, hoping to get what I want.

  I’ve fallen for Kara but our beginning is built on a lie.

  That’s my fault.

  How can I tell her who I am, without losing her?

  Without losing them?

  1

  Xavier

  “Mr. Trapp.” The voice that dared to interrupt me was soft, almost apprehensive. Irritatingly apprehensive.

  I ignored it. If my new assistant wanted my attention she’d have to be more assertive than that of a timid church mouse. Tapping my fingers on my desk, I reread the contract displayed on my screen. Two point nine million dollars? Nice try! The property in question was worth far less than that. I crossed out the insulting suggestion and countered with two point one. My offer was still too high but a better price for such a demanding piece of real estate.

  “Mr. Trapp,” my assistant spoke above a whisper.

  At least her attempt was audible this time. “What is it, Adrian?” I was too focused on sending back my generous counter offer to the seller to look at her.

  “I know you asked not to be disturbed but—”

  “You’re interrupting me anyway.”

  “I-I am sorry.”

  I hired Adrian as a favor to her brother Cam. We’d gone to law school together and he’d helped me close a few lucrative deals over the years. When his sister graduated from college with some hefty student loans, I offered to help. It wasn’t going as smoothly as I had hoped.

  She stood in the doorway, practically trembling.

  Am I really that frightening?

  Judging by the number of personal assistants I’d gone through in the past few years, the answer was yes. My therapist suggested I work on my delivery.

  “What do you want?” I took a deep breath, remembering my therapist’s advice. “I mean, what is it that you need?”

  “I know you don’t want to be disturbed.”

  Didn’t we already establish that?

  “Kate Hightower is here.”

  I didn’t need that today. Kate was the sister of my late ex-girlfriend. I hadn’t seen her in two months. Not since the funeral.

  “Tell her I’m on a call and can’t be disturbed.” That might buy me a few minutes.

  “Why don’t you tell me for yourself?” Kate barreled past Adrian. “Don’t take this out on your assistant. She asked me to wait in the lobby but I didn’t listen.”

  “Of course you didn’t.” I nodded at Adrian. “You can shut the door. It’s fine.”

  Adrian frowned as she did what I asked. She probably worried that I’d blame her for this intrusion but I was quite certain Kate was the culprit here.

  “Where did you find her?” Kate stood in front of the door, decked out in her designer dress and high heels. Her flawless make-up, carefully crafted eyebrows, and fake eyelashes often got her mistaken for a model or an actress. “Was she a favor? She’s clearly not formidable enough for you.”

  Always so observant and calculated. “What can I do for you?” I came around my desk to join her. “I didn’t expect to see you.”

  “You never do.” She leaned in and kissed my cheek. “How are you?”

  “I’m good and you?”

  “I’ve been better.”

  Kate could be loud and opinionated but she was still grieving the loss of her sister. Dr. Alvarez would tell me I need to be more tolerant. He would be right.

  “How is your mother?” I asked. “I’ve been meaning to call her.”

  “She sends her love.” She sat in the chair across from me. “She’s so pleased that you dedicated the library building in Lanie’s memory

  “She loved to read.” Lanie and I hadn’t been together in over four years. Her unexpected death wasn’t easy on her mother and sister. I grieved in my own way but I hadn’t seen her since we ended things. “The memorial seemed fitting.”

  “So did the huge donation you made in her name. That was very kind of you.”

  “I wanted to do something to honor her. Even though we weren’t together when she died, she was a significant part of my life for a long time.”

  “I know, X.” Kate sighed. “She should have never left you. She was young and impatient. I told her she was making a big mistake. I would not have made… well, she didn’t listen to me.”

  “It’s in the past.” Lanie and I had gotten together after college. I was in law school and building my real estate empire. I’d been successful with a few investments when I was younger, making some solid choices but with that came long hours and dedication. Lanie didn’t like being second. I couldn’t blame her. We weren’t meant to be. “What are you doing in the city?”

  “I wanted to give you something.” She reached into her brown leather bag and took out an envelope. “I was going through some of Lanie’s things and I came across this.”

  “What is it?” I peered at the envelope, noting my name neatly written in Lanie’s handwriting.

  “I don’t know.” She handed it to me. “I found it in a decorative box she kept on her nightstand. She had some card
s, ticket stubs, and a few other notes in there.”

  “You didn’t open it?”

  “It’s addressed to you.”

  I shot her a disbelieving glance because Kate was not known for minding her own business.

  “It’s sealed.” She pointed out. “I’m sure you remember her handwriting. I didn’t open it, and I’m rather offended you thought I would.”

  “You’ll get over it.”

  “Don’t you ever get tired of being so hard?”

  “Not really.” I smirked as I slid the letter into my pocket. “It suits me.”

  “You’re not going to open it?” Her gaze could have burned a whole in my pocket if she stared any longer. “Aren’t you curious? Don’t you want to know what my sister said to you?”

  “I’ll read it later.”

  I was certain it wasn’t anything important or Lanie would have given it to me herself. She had a practice of venting in writing. She’d draft these elaborate emails to companies when she thought an employee had been rude to her only to delete them when she was finished. She would say she didn’t want to get anyone in trouble. She often told me after we’d had an argument, she’d write me a letter letting me know exactly what she thought of me and then rip it up. That practice made her feel better. It was therapy for her. I could relate to that.

  “Later?” She threw her hands in the air. “I give you a message from the dead and you don’t want to read it? What’s the matter with you?”

  “I didn’t say I wouldn’t read it but I prefer to do it on my own terms.” I frowned when I saw the disappointment in her expression. “I appreciate you delivering it to me. I’m sure it’s something she wrote after we broke up. You know she liked to express herself through writing.”

  “You should have seen the poems and journals I found.” She gazed out the window. “I had no idea she was so prolific.”

  “She was very special.”

  “I really miss her.” She sucked in a breath and straightened her posture. “Anyway, I hope that letter brings back good memories. She adored you.”

  “As I did her.”

  For several years, I envisioned a future with Lanie. I thought we’d get married and have children. I took too long getting there. When we ended things, I had hoped she would find a man who could give her everything she wanted. I never thought that man would end up being the reason she died.

  “Thanks for seeing me.” She headed to the door. “I know you’re busy.”

  “I can always make time for you and your mom.” I hadn’t had a relationship with Lanie or her family once we broke up but I’d reconnected with them at the funeral. Something Lanie would have wanted from me.

  “My mother would like to have lunch with you.”

  “That would be lovely.” I opened the door for her. “Let me know when and I’ll arrange it.”

  “X,” she said. “Don’t take too long to read that letter. I wish she’d left one for me.”

  I nodded as she exited my office. Before the door could fully close, I caught her warning my assistant in true Kate fashion. She was never one to let an opportunity go, especially when she thought she was right.

  “Sweetie, you should find a new job.” Kate’s tone was a mix between sarcasm and truth. “While your boss is one of the sexiest men in town, he’s a ruthless bastard on the inside. You’ll never please him.”

  At least she’s accurate.

  Later that night, I took my drink out onto the balcony that overlooked the Manhattan skyline of my newly acquired apartment. It was more than an apartment, if I was being honest. I’d taken the top two floors of the historical high rise just across the river and renovated it into my very own oasis. I still had the advantage of living near the city and being close to my business but when I came home, I was far enough away from all the noise and congestion of my daily life.

  Sitting in front of the fire pit that warmed the outside on this brisk October evening, I stared at the letter Kate had given me. I’d managed to put it out of my head all day. It wasn’t difficult to do. Although Lanie’s death was tragic and unexpected, we hadn’t left any loose ends between us. We’d gone our separate ways and our split was amicable once she realized I could never give her what she wanted. My complete attention. I’d hurt her but once we agreed living apart was better than being together and creating resentment between us, we knew it was the right decision.

  Whatever was inside that letter, wouldn’t change what we were to one another. She would always be my first real love. The only woman I’d ever had a serious relationship with. After we separated, I realized my first priority was my company. Everything and everyone else took a backseat. Another issue Dr. Alvarez was trying to help me break through.

  I took the letter from the envelope and unfolded it. While taking a sip of my whisky, I thought maybe the next hour with my therapist could be spent talking about this letter. I’d probably get more out of that conversation than any of my current sessions.

  X,

  You’ll probably never read this but I need to clear my conscience.

  That didn’t sound promising. I took another sip from my glass as I continued reading.

  I hate the way we left things even if I agreed to your terms and walked away. You thought it was for the best because you said I couldn’t handle your career. As usual, you were right. I didn’t want to be second in your life while you became a billionaire. I admire and respect your determination. I watched you grow your company and become the success that you are. When I realized that determination was never going to end and you would always be chasing the next success, I knew it would never work for us.

  I needed to be the center of your world. I don’t blame you. I’m proud of your accomplishments. I wish I could have found a way to tell you that when we were together instead of acting out and making things difficult for you those last few months.

  Anyway, that’s all in the past. Here comes the confession part. The only reason I can write these words is because I know you’ll never read them. Shortly after we ended things, I discovered I was pregnant. Me, pregnant? I couldn’t be responsible for a goldfish, right? We were over. We were better off that way. I couldn’t tell you about the baby. It’s almost two years later and I still can’t. I don’t think I ever will.

  I didn’t keep her. I couldn’t. I gave her to good people. Parents who can raise her together and give her the life we couldn’t. Not that I don’t think you’ll make a fantastic father one day but you weren’t ready. Neither was I. Our little one deserved better.

  My only regret is that you’ll never know a part of us lives on in this world. I’m sorry, X. That’s all I really wanted to say. It’s better this way.

  You’ll always have my heart,

  Lanie

  No! I slammed my drink down as I reread the letter. Was this a joke? It had been almost five years since we split. Why hadn’t she ripped this letter up? The same way she had done before? Five years! I could have a child out there? One I would never had known about if not for this absurd confession. Of all the irresponsible things...

  I grabbed my phone from the table and began scrolling through my contacts. I paused when I came to Dr. John Alvarez. My therapist should have been my first call but my instincts told me to keep scrolling until I found my P.I. If there was any truth to that letter, he would find it. That would be far more valuable to me than analyzing my feelings.

  2

  Xavier

  I waited as John read the letter. The one I’d committed to memory. The message filled with words that had cut me deeper than I ever thought could. My shrink was focused, quiet as he pressed a pen to his lips. I was tempted to take my phone out and get some work done while he pondered but the good doctor frowned upon technology during a session. Something about being unplugged.

  He neatly folded the paper and placed it back in the envelope. I couldn’t wait to hear his take on this subject.

  “Well.” He handed the life-altering note back to me. “This i
s a significant development.”

  “You think?” I put the letter in my inside suit pocket. “A development I don’t need.”

  “Is that how you really feel?”

  “I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. That’s why I’m here.” I rested my head against the back of the chair, taking sanctuary in the one place where I could let it all go. “My life is complicated. I have so much going on with my business. I travel all the time. I’m single for a reason. We’ve been over this. A kid?” I was still trying to process that concept. “I rarely date these days. I wasn’t prepared for this.”

  “You said Lanie wrote letters all the time. Is it possible this was something she wrote but it wasn’t true? A fantasy she never intended for your eyes?”

  “I suppose that’s a possibility.”

  Lanie was quirky and marched to the beat of her own drum. All the characteristics that initially drew me to her ended up being the reasons I couldn’t be with her. She wanted to pick up and travel on a moment’s notice. She’d often make a spontaneous dinner reservation without checking with me and then be upset when I couldn’t meet her.

  “Why would she keep the letter if it wasn’t true? Why even write it?”

  “That’s a question I can’t answer but the good news is, we have time to work through this.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I suggest you don’t do anything rash. I’d like you to take some time and digest the information.”

  I glared at him, wondering if he was serious. He’d been my therapist for two years. Had he learned nothing about me in that time? Because I knew enough about him to write a book. It would be a boring book.